Repent, the End Is Near

Repent, the End Is Near is the twenty-second episode of the fifth season and the ninety-ninth of The Blood Gulch Chronicles.

Synopsis
The episode starts out in the caves as Capt. Flowers has the Green Alien keep Doc, Sister, and Junior at gunpoint. He explains that everything was planned by him, the rest unknown of what was to transpire. As the Wyoming clones start firing at Church and Tucker, they run away from the Red Base while the Red Team still watch on. Now aware of how the battle proceeds, Tucker gives specific orders, like telling Church to duck, avoiding a sniper shot. They then run to the hill, right after Church has a close call with Gamma, and meet up with Tex. Tucker tells them to duck once more before telling them to distract the Wyomings. He runs across the canyon to Caboose who is told to distract the tank head on. He rushes in front of Gamma, causing him to move slowly towards him. As Gamma stops right in front of Caboose, Tucker plugs the hard line, trapping Gamma in Sheila's firewall. Tucker, now back with Church and Tex, plan on having a shoot-out with the clones when the same music from Season 1 is heard. The Red Team appears in the warthog, driven by Grif, Sarge in the shotgun seat (with the shotgun), and Simmons on the turret, finish off the remaining clones when Caboose taunts the Reds the same way he did with Gamma. They then chase him across the canyon, not firing. Church notices a single Wyoming injured from the battle but still alive and ask him what they want with Junior. Tucker explains that they want Junior to fulfill the prophecy, via becoming infected by O'Malley so that they can use him to enslave all the aliens by corrupting their religion from the inside. Wyoming states that now Tex know of this, she'd not only stop and watch, she'd help them. She then follows by creating a free channel, stating, "This is freelancer Tex broadcasting on an open channel. You want me O'Malley, come and get me." The episode then ends, leading up to the series finale.

Transcript
Fade in to Flowers in the underground lair talking to the computer

Flowers: Yes, everything is coming together as planned. And these fools still have no idea. Once the young one gets his sword, there will be no stopping us.

Vic: Hey, what about the other guy dude, does he know about the thing with the thing?

Flowers: No that beast does not suspect anything either. Everyone has played right in to our hands. Muuhuhohuhhahahahaaa. ...Okay maybe that was a little loud. Huhahahaaa. There. That's better.

Cut to Tucker and Church fleeing from all the Wyomings

Wyoming 6: They're getting away!

Tucker: Come on!

Wyoming 1: Cut them off!

Church: Why aren't you being affected by any of this?

Wyoming 3: Remember the sniper shot.

Tucker: He said it has something to do with the sword!

Tucker turns and shoots Wyoming 4 in the head with the sniper rifle

Wyoming 3: I told you to watch for the sniper shot.

Church: Who said? When?

Wyoming 5: I've got to get my sight!

Tucker: Just trust me!

Wyoming 7: Get off the ledge you fool!

Tucker turns and shoots Wyoming 1 off the top of the base

Wyoming 1: Ah- Ooph!

Tucker: The cliff! Head for the cliff!

Wyoming 2: This time flank him!

Tucker: That's where Tex will be!

Church: Are you sure?

Wyoming 7: Hey, hey!

Tucker: No, not that way!

Wyoming 7: Now I've got you!

Tucker aims at Church's head, and Church ducks, allowing Tucker to shoot Wyoming 7 in the face

Wyoming 7: Ah!

Church: Hey you know what, I kinda like this new all-knowing badass Tucker. He's certainly a lot better than the old one.

Church heads off between some rocks

Tucker: No Church wait! The other way!

Gary: Knock knock Church.

Church: Son of a bitch!

Gary fires the tank's cannon at Church, who evades and rejoins Tucker

Tucker: I meant the other other way. My bad dude.

Church: I take back what I said! You still suck.

Tucker: Okay Tex perfect, now listen.

Tex: What the hell? Why do you guys keep giving away my position?

Tucker: It doesn't matter, they know you're here anyway. DUCK!

Church and Tex duck, and a sniper shot goes through where both their heads used to be.

Wyoming 3: Once I hit a towel.

Tucker: See?

Church: Tex, this is almost gonna be impossible to explain, but he knows exactly what's going on, and we just need to trust him.

Tex: Trust him. Ten minutes ago he shot me.

Church: Yeah well that's I mean... you know, come on. Kind of a bitch. But don't worry, now that we're together, I'm sure he has an awesome plan. Right Tucker?

Tucker: Right, now you guys stay here and distract the Wyomings. I'ma go take care of that fuckin' tank.

Church: Distract! How?

Tucker: Not getting killed is a great way to start! Watch your back!

Shots hit the ground near Church's feet

Church: Jesus!

Tucker runs over the hill and rejoins Caboose

Tucker: Caboose, are you ready to help? I need you to do something.

Caboose: Great!

Tucker: I need you to run out there and get the tank to shoot at you and try to draw it closer to the ship. It's gonna be really dangerou-

Caboose: Okay!

Tucker: Caboose, that's why I always liked you. Everything falls in to two categories. Either you don't understand it, or you just don't care.

Caboose: Yeah, I don't really know what you mean by that. But I guess it doesn't matter.

Tucker: Exactly.

Caboose: Why didn't you have Tex or Church help? Is it because I'm the best?

Tucker: No, it's because Church is an asshole and Tex doesn't trust me right now.

Caboose: Really? Why not?

Tucker: Eh, because I got to use a sniper rifle and I ended up unloading a round in to her ass.

Caboose: Hey chicka bum-bum.

Tucker: Caboose, what did I tell you about that!?

Caboose: Sorry, sorry.

Caboose heads boldly toward the tank

Caboose: Hey. Big mean tank jerk. Why don't you pick on someone your own size?

The tank starts heading toward Caboose

Caboose: Dah, that's more like it. ...Uh oh. Uh- okay, uh Tucker, uh, uh here it comes. Tucker? ...Tucker. Um, yeah, I- I I didn't really mean anything, I I just wanted to say um... Hi?

Tucker comes up behind the tank and attaches a cable

Tucker: Now Sheila!

Sheila: Affirmative.

Gary: What nuuuuuuuu...

Tucker: Did you get him Sheila?

Sheila: I have him! He is currently isolated behind a firewall. He is attempting to get through, but it will take some time. He is not that smart.

Gary: I heard that.

Tucker: Great. Caboose, stay here, I'll be back in a bit.

Caboose: Okay, but I still don't know what's happening. Good tank? Nice tank?

Cut to the Reds watching the ongoing battle between the Blues and the Whites, of which there are now six, meaning two were not initially visible

Simmons: Man, that seems like a really big fight.

Sarge: Yeah. Looks like they don't stand much of a chance. Ah, those Blues are finally getting what they deserve. I always knew this day would come.

Donut: You mean you knew that the Blues would be killed by an unknown group of cloned enemies while in control of our base, and while we were in control of theirs? Seriously? You knew that was coming.

Sarge: Absolutely. It's so obvious. Durrr. What a glorious day to be Red.

Grif: And the best part of it all is that the Blues are finally gonna be driven out of the canyon, and we get to sit on the sidelines. Man, someone does all the battling and we just have to kick back and let 'em take the glory, while we enjoy the benefits. We don't have to do anything.

Sarge: Rrrr...

Grif: Hhhh... You know, one of these days, and I don't know when, I'm gonna learn to shut my fuckin' mouth.

Cut to now eight Wyomings firing on the Blues

Church: Okay, I'll take the ones on the right, you take the ones on the left.

Tex: There's twice as many on the left

Church: I know, I can count.

Tucker: Just keep backing them up!

Church: Why, what are we waiting- wait a sec. The hell is that music!?

The Reds come barrelling over the hill in the Warthog, bowling over most of the Wyomings on the left, and Sarge shoots Wyoming 10 in the face

Sarge: Yaaaa, now that's what I call ridin' shotgun! Blammo, haha!

Simmons: Excellent shot, and follow-up one-liner Sir.

Sarge: Thank you Simmons.

Wyoming 2 tries to mount the driver side of the Warthog, and Sarge shoots him

Sarge: Now get to blastin'.

Simmons: On it Sir.

Simmons starts firing the chain gun on the back of the Warthog, cutting down Wyomings 3 and 8

Simmons: Yeah, suck it Blue! And you too White! Suck it crackers!

Grif: Crackers? I thought you were Dutch Irish?

Simmons: Fuck that shit. Shut up and drive, bitch. Yeahah, get some, suck it tits. Ohoh, you want some, how about this?

Grif drives over Wyomings 5, 12 and 13, while Simmons shoots Wyomings 6, 9 and 11

Simmons: You like that? Yeah, I got plenty more here! Take that ya honkey mother fuckers!

Caboose: Hey Reds! Why don't you pick on someone your own size?

Church: Uh, is he gonna be okay?

Caboose runs away from the Warthog, which follows him dilligently

Caboose: I am Caboose! The vehicle destroyer!

Tucker: ...Yeah, probably.

Church: Hey one of them's still alive.

Wyoming: Uuuhhh.

Church: What's your plan, Wyoming? Why are you here, and what do you want with Junior?

Tucker: He already told me! My kid is the last part of that big prophesy we thought failed. He's supposed to become some big religious saviour for their whole race. Or some crap.

Tex: What?

Tucker: Yeah, so they wanna make Junior fulfill the prophesy and have O'Malley infect him. Then they can use him to enslave all the aliens by corrupting their religion from the inside.

Church: Okay. That's disgusting.

Wyoming: No, that's our job. To win the war at any cost.

Church: Yeah well good luck. Now that we have you, all we need to do is stop O'Malley. And Tex will be more than happy to do that.

Wyoming: Oh on the contrary, my friend. Now that she knows our plan, not only will she not stop us; our dear Tex is going to help us.

Church: Oh yeah. I'm sure she'd be happy to help O'Malley. I'n't that right Tex. Tex?

Tex: He's right. This is Freelancer Tex, broadcasting on a open channel.

Church: Tex! What are you doing?

Tex: You want me O'Malley? Come and get me.